28.03.02 - 11:44 a.m.

when theres nothing to say or no opportunity to
say it, and all thats left to communicate by is
brief physical contact when someones on the way
out, i try so hard to open up my chest
while its next to theirs and let run-on sentences and sentiment
pour out in the biggest hurry imaginable.
my hearts been busy this week, with
boys and boys and boys and girls that
ive disappointed or missed and seen and
lost sleep over and
fallen in and out of love with too
many times to count, and if there had been time or
opportunity, i wouldve said
im sorry ! for making you feel awkward [about fifty times] and
we worry because seventeen is hard and sometimes people cant be consoled and
here is my life and i wish you were in it more and
sweetheart of course i still love you the best and
i never have enough foresight when colliding worlds on purpose
which really all melt down to
im sorry, i love you, or i miss you
and usually an amalgam of all three.

i need a shower, a good cry and some tea.
love
astrid