14.02.07 - 10:51 a.m.
the influx of email from individuals i loosely consider my family (the unchosen cousins, the in-laws you don't especially like) reminding me that i am loved during times of adversity made a lot more sense after i "heard."
have you heard? people keep asking. yes, i've heard. i am expected to express some measure of sorrow; i am to reminisce and return the loving sentiments extended.
what i want to say, instead, and don't because i am not as heartless as they might assert:
1. i can't believe he did this to you.
2. i hated him in life for his arrogance and hate him more in death for his irresponsibility.
3. where were you when this was building to such a predictable end?
they don't need to tell me they love me. we're bound by our late childhoods, our own non-lethal indiscretions, our only having each other.