16.07.05 - 4:37 p.m.

crossing the street at champion and state, i took a deep breath and said colin, please don't hate me.
why would i hate you?
you know. i know you're tim's and i understand that your loyalty lies with him, but i don't want you to hate me.
why am i tim's?
because you've known him for so long; you're old friends.
if i'd known you first, i'd be yours.
but you didn't.
i know. i don't hate you.

we made plans to go to vancouver and try on clothes we can't afford and before i put my helmet on to leave he said
i'd be devastated if we didn't live in the same town.
i would miss you desperately, i said,
and left him in his office amid boxes, plans for a golfcourse, drafting tables and tweed-covered furniture.