01.02.07 - 11:09 a.m.

last night i was so mad at you. i have never been madder at you before in our long history. i drove with both hands wrapped tight at ten and two until i picked nathan up and oh, then they went flying; he got an earful.
things were different, if slightly, before. you have always made me guess. but when you're getting shown up in the friend department by someone you consider your direct competition, i am supposed to politely deflect her casual insistence that she LOVES me (as you do, i know that you do. that isn't the point). how? you haven't been clear. the only thing i know for sure is that i wasn't supposed to make plans with her to go to H&M and i wasn't supposed to hole up with her in the bathroom for half an hour.

nathan says you're conflicted and, frankly, i think that's bullshit. he says your feelings fluctuate and refuse to abide by the rules you've pre-set for life. WHAT?
but despite being fully submerged in the situation and it lasting approximately ten years, i understand so little that i can't really argue. you are inconsistent as the tides which i might consider consistent if i knew anything about tides.