16.03.06 - 12:49 a.m.

2. sometimes things grab me by my shirtfront and hold me up against my locker; you shouldn't beat yourself up over it. everyone seems to have a list - a rotation - of things to squirm away from when confronted. right now mine consists of baby clothes, fatherly gestures and health - my own, not my father's. i even make faces; this is no secret.
3. i want to ask you if you feel betrayed by her candor and my interest. i won't, though, and instead will continue to send you the occasional how you doin email that serves no purpose other than bringing to light the fact that i am worried about you and can do nothing to help. she and i are in the same boat, canoeing around in our big floppy hats and drinking martinis. you and i for once are on opposing teams and another thing i want to ask is if that freaks you out as much as it does me.