12.11.05 - 3:26 p.m.

and so begins the new era of never leaving the house socially. the first time i sneak into a room to listen to a friend play, jackson will annouce, "a rare appearance!" and matt will later refer to me as elusive. i'll spend all day trying on clothes, making piles to donate to goodwill and rethinking all of it. i'll curl and straighten my hair within an inch of its life and make sure all of my books are in order according to the dewey decimal system. i'll compare my collection to the virtual card catalogue several times. my records will undergo a reorganization; i will murphy's oil soap the floors in the livingroom bi-weekly. i will write several terrible sestinas as form is unusually appealing to me when i'm depressed. i'll listen to rainer maria pretty much non-stop and wait for you to get here.