25.09.05 - 4:59 p.m.
when i start to get indignant about you questioning my feelings, i have to keep reminding myself that i stayed with someone for a year more than i should've just to avoid hurting his feelings. i remained in love with a celibate sociopath for months longer than was appropriate -- after he gave me tigermilk on vinyl for christmas and we stopped talking -- just because i liked the idea of him. i've given you every reason to wonder if i mean what i say, but i wish you could put a hand to my forehead and feel what i'm thinking; the indignance is out of honesty, not defensiveness.